The Fat Lunatic

 Mat·ter   /ˈmatər/
Noun:
Physical substance in general, as distinct from mind and spirit; (in physics) that which occupies space and possesses rest mass.

 I am matter. I have weight (93kg worth) and I occupy space (miles). I'm not a writer or anything fancy. I'm just the not-so-proud owner of a cheap dell laptop and free internet and you're going  on a really, really weird journey with me. Yep!! We're going to Fitville !!

Fitville  /fitVillé/
Noun: a fictional place I just made up to sound cool.

What I was trying to say is, I want you to come on a journey with me as I transform my body from bleh to DAMN!!!!!!! (omg! cheesy).

So put on your exercise clothes and step away from that chocolate chip cookie. Yes you, step.....away....from....the.....cookie.